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AHAMKARAM
By
Achala
Bhakthan
We
have heard many saying see his “Ahamkar” . What is this Ahamkar? It
is nothing but feeling of “I” in everything he does (Ego).
That means connecting the “I” with all inert things.
We have seen the “I” is the SELF or SUPREME BEING, which is
existing itself without attributes, connection, or relationship with
anything else. When we try to pose ourselves into this feeling in all walks
of life, we are showing our ignorance (Ignorance of the real status of
“I”). It is thus the
wrong identification. Identification
itself is to be avoided, but when there is wrong identification, it is
still worse. Let us take
the famous example for super-imposition or wrong identification.
We mistake the rope to be the snake so far as we have not
understood the reality that it is the rope lying there
The shape in which it lies on the floor and the dim light makes
us feel that it is the snake lying there.
The idea of “snake” is superimposed by us on the real rope,
since we have no knowledge that it is really the rope.
In order to cast away this wrong identification, we have to
identify that as the rope, the real one.
So, identification with the Reality is the only way to remove our
wrong identification.
The
state of “Jeeva” itself is due to identification with inert things
like I am the Body, I am the Mind, I am the Intellect etc., which is the
basis of all our worries; This
we have seen. What is the
way out? It is non-
identification with any of our worldly doings, possessions etc. and
removal of the doer-ship and enjoyer-ship and identification with the
Reality that will give us relief..
The
word “Ahamkar” means, we give importance to ourselves and whatever
we say or do and try to bring it in limelight.
Not only this. We
are trying to assert that I am right and others are wrong.
This posture or assertion is causing us all the miseries in life,
because we put our stamp on everything and we become subject to the
anger and hatred of others whenever our saying or doing does not suit
others. This also means we
do not give importance to anybody else or anything else.
We try to pose our superiority over everything.
If this is the view of ourselves, what about others?
If all have this posture, where is the place for “others” in
our view? Each one is
trying to impose the self-superiority over others.
It leads to fight, insults, lack of mutual help, co-ordination
etc.
Ahamkar
is a feeling, a thought, that arises in our mind and possesses us
completely. This deludes us
and causes all miseries and ultimately we become totally restricted and
dependent. But, can you say
or do anything without this “i“ feeling?
Yes, in Bhakthi Marga or In Karma Marga, we have to practice
doing everything by surrendering to the Lord.
Feel that you are not the doer.
Whatever is done is natural and does not belong to the “I” in
you. Do everything with the
satvik feeling: “Brahmaaarpanam”
or “Sivaarpanam”. Whatever
be the outcome it is all God’s. How
to practice this in our day-to-day life?
First of all you should feel you are only the agent or servant of
the SUPREME BEING and hat you are only executing the work
as per the orders of that SUPREME BEING.
or feel you are only the instrument or vehicle which is driven by
the driver the ‘SUPREME BEING” Hai! Dwaitha isn’t it?
Does not matter, since you are in wrong identification and,
therefore, you are in Dwaitha, which should change gradually.
Let
me give you one eye-catching example that is available in our Bhajan
Padhathi. In Vridavan, sri
Krishna is the central attraction to all Gopaas and Gopis. Gopis are the embodiment of Bhakthi. They have Paraa Bhakthi.
They consider everything as that of the Lord Krishna.
They see Krishna in everything, they hear Krishna in every sound,
they feel Krishna in the wind and so on.
Their thoughts were going around Krishna alone. This is the real
Bhakthi or Love towards the “I” Supreme. Even they had the
Ego, but it was a positive (Satvik) Ego and not with negative
tendencies. They were not
feeling the ownership of any wordly things but still they owned Krishna.
Each one has reached a stage in Bhakthi that they started feeling
“Krishna is mine”. Even
this is an Ego. Possessiveness
and ownership feeling is “Ego”.
This Ego should also be discarded, which human beings cannot do.
It is at this time that Lord will come to our help and make us
realize that there is no Dwaitha Bhaava, it is all He and nothing is
ours. This is the
culmination of Bhakthi. Till this possessive Satvic (positive) Ego comes to us, we go
round and round in the worldly attachments.
Once this Ego comes, Lord takes care of us.
Once
when Gopis were doing Rasakrida with the Lord, each one was possessive of
Krishna and started feeling Krishna is theirs in isolation to others.
At this time, Krishna wanted to make them realize the Real status
and disappeared. Suddenly,
the Gopis started lamenting, as they could not see Him.
They ran here and there, they grieved for his absence, they started
weeping and calling his name always.
They forgot their family, husband, children, home etc. and were mad
roaming around Vridavan in search of the Lord.
They realized that nothing is possible without His presence and all
that was going on was His Leela. They
were feeling that they were mere Jedaas without life in the body. They
ultimately surrendered themselves to him in toto and cried for his
appearance. This is called “GOPIKA GEETHAM”. Finally the Lord appears
in a beautiful form that throws them into full ecstasy and they thronged
to Him as though their Praana had come back. Krishna then continued the Raasa Krida by positioning himself
in between each Gopi to make them feel that each one of them is Eswara
tatwa or Lord is in every one without discrimination.
In fact, He made them realize “TAT TWAM ASI”. The song here is:
“ANGANAAM
ANGANAAM ANDHARE MAADHAVAM
MAADHAVAM
MAADHVAMCHA ANDHRENA ANGANA
ITHAMAA
KALPITHE MANDALE MADHYAGAHA
SANCHAGOW
VENUNAA DEVAKI NANADANAHA”
One
Gopi, One Krishna, One Gopi, One Krishna etc. in this order they made a
Mandala (a round) and in the center again there is Krishna. This shows that the SUPREME BEING exists as it is as the
center of activity even though the same SUPREME BEING is seemingly
appearing with each Gopi (meaning the Supreme Being is appearing as Gopis).
Still the Lord is appearing at the center in fullness.
This is explained by Vedas in the sloka:
POORNAMATHAH POORNAMITHAM
POORNAAT POORNAMUTHACHYATHE
POORNASYA
OORNAMAADAAYA
POORNAMEVA AVASISHYATHE
The
ultimate Reality SUPREME is fullness, even after it appears in innumerable
forms. By this, IT does not
get converted or transformed into different beings but the ONE that is at
the basic center of all remains in fullness and the different appearances
are also in fullness. Nothing
happens to the original one in spite of this division and the divided ones
are also full. The fullness
never reduces its size nor loses any part of it when it becomes many.
This is called “AKSHAYAM”, having no loss. Even the many coming out of the main one are in fullness and
not divided in small clusters. This
is the paradox, difficult to assimilate.
We
have seen that what is required at our level is:
Cast
away identification with the Body, Mind and Intellect
Become
introvert by pulling your gnaanedriyaas from world outside
Discard
all thoughts except that Lord is in you
Surrender
to Him in toto with full Body, Mind and Intect
Meditate
on Him
Do
your duties without ownership nor longing for results.
Feel
everywhere the presence of the Ultimate Reality
Think
all these appearances are of HIM
Think
you are only the servant or agent of HIM
Fill
your Mind with full and pure LOVE (BHAKTHI)
The
rest is HIS job.
Then
see the effect. “You” are not there.
HE is everywhere and is present in everything.
You lose your individual identification and become one with HIM.
This is the ultimate stage, which we should reach.
Here there is no ‘AHAMKAR” but only ‘AHAM” (“i”).
This is the supreme state of Godhood.
As
a motivation, I would like to site the examples of Meera, Panchaali
Gajendra, Druva, Prahlaada,
Bhisha, Sabari, Hanuman, Radhika whose achievements are explained in story
form in our Puraanaas. A full
length discussion on these subjects will take us a long way.
To
conclude, in all the margas except Bhakthi Marga, the doership feeling is
there to certain level. In Bhakthi Marga, the basis being “LOVE” towards the
SUPREME BEING, the individuality is absent right from beginning.
I do not claim that Bhakthi Marga alone is good.
All the Margaas are leading you to the Ultimate but Bhakthi Marga
is direct. Even if you master
the other Yogaas, ultimately
you land in Bhakthi before the REALISATION.
Therefore, Bhakthi Marga is the direct
and simple step towards the goal and into which all
other paths merge with before reaching the ultimate.. I want to stress the point that ‘AHAMKAR’ in us is
annihilated by the Lord at the stage where our Saadhana is complete and we
are above the THRIPUDI” (I, Me and Mine feeling).
We should also cross over THAMASIC, RAJASIC AND SATVIC states of
mind. Annihilation of Ahamkar
is an automatic process happening at the right time when our Saadhana is
ripe enough and it takes its own course.
Finally “AHAM”
alone remains
and there is no “KAR”,
the doer feeling.
Practice (and not merely chant) :
KAAYENA VAACHA MANASA INDRIYAIRVA
BUDHI ATHMANAAVAA PRAKRUTHEHE
SWABHAAVAAT
KAROMI YADHAYATHU SAKALAM PARASMAI
SREEMAN NAARAAYANAAYA ITHI
SAMARPAYAAMI
OM
TAT SAT |
