KALYANOTSAVA PADDATHI

Prelude

As a continuation of Dakshina Sampradaaya Bhajan, which has various sections like Thodaya Mangalam, Gurudhyaanams, Ashapathi, Dasarvaal Kritis, Poojopachaaram, Dhyanam, Deepa Pradakshinam and Dolotsavam, Kalyanotsavams like Radha Kalyanam, Rukmini Kalyaanam and Seetha Kalyanam, are widely spread in all over South India.  Though there are other Kalyana padhathis like Meenakshi Kalyanam, Ayyappa Kalyanam, Ganapathy Kalyanam, Valli Kalyanam etc. in vogue, the above three are commonly and widely conducted as they are the traditional ones.  All the Bhajan gurus having come from Telugu desam, have given us these Kalyana Padhathis according to the Telugu customs and with telugu songs.  Bhakthaas are enacting the Kalyanoysavams of Lord Krishna and Raama to prepare themselves towards Bhagavat Darsan.  Customs have diluted it to certain extent as some deviations are practiced to suit the local customs and, therefore from place to place and from Bhagavatha to Bhagavatha some changes may be seen in the paddhathi.  However, the theme behind these Utsavams is the same.  Here more than tradition, bhava is  important.  We should feel that Krishna and Rama are our children and they are being united with their better halves. There should be no pomp and show but only Bhakthi and Bhava that should prevail while conducting these Kalyanams.  Just like the Bhajana Padhdhathis, Kalyanams are to be conducted in the traditional manner according to the procedure laid down by our Gurus.

I would like to share with you my view about these Kalyanotsavams.  This is nothing but the Jeevatma longing to join with Paramatma.  For this, we must first be pure at heart, clear in thoughts, unassuming in nature and with pure Bhakthi Bhava and complete surrender to the Lord perform this utsavam in the traditional method given to us by our gurus.   We are offering ourselves unto Him in the form of a bride, since the bride is supposed to be loyal, service minded with full faith on Him and with total surrender unto Him who approaches Him for union with Him.  Only with unselfish service and pure Bhakthi one can go near God, who will cut asunder the last trace of Maya Bandan, i.e. positive Ego in us and relieve us of our worldly duties and obligations and take us unto Him.  The Bliss that we enjoy during the Kalyanotsavam is immeasureable and unexplainable.  It has to be felt.

Radha Kalyanam is performed throughout the year but Margazhi month is the right season to perform Radhakalyanam as it coincides with Andaal's Vrutham, who is the embodiment of Goddess in the human form and who through pure Bhakthi and determination approaches the Lord and gets united.  What other apt example can be sighted for the Bhakthi Bhava.  Rukmini Kalyanam is conducted during Gokulashtami and Seetha Kalyanam during Ram Navami.  The Paddhathi for all are same except, the Choornikai, Pravaram and Mangalasshtaka slokams, which vary according to the Kulam, Gothram and Ancestral followings of the Brides and Bridegrooms.  Normally, in Seetha Kalyaanam and Rukmini Kalyanam, Nischithamboolam song is sung and the Vang Nischaya (Nischithamboolam) function is performed while in Radha Kalyanam, it is omitted as it is believed that on Sri Krishna's instructions, Sri Brahma conducted the marriage proceedings in a hurry without anyone on both sides.  It is believed that Radha Kalyanam represents the union of Jeevatma with Paramatma and has no paraphernalias that are attached to a marriage function.  Radha is considered to be the embodiment of Bhakthi and Krishna the Paramatma.  Radhakalyanam shows the way to  the Jeevas to get united with the Lord throgh Bhakthi Marga.  The other Kalyanams, though represents the same theme, are considered to be lowkeekam.  To me, what is required is Pure Bhakthi and total surrender to Lord and if one has this Bhava, there is no difference in these three marriages.  Also Radha Kalyanam used to be performed and has to be, in Brahma Muhurtham, i.e. 3.30 am and should be over before dawn.  This shows that it is not a normal Kalyanam but it is the way for Jeeva Brahma Iykyam, since Brahma Muhurtham is the auspicious time for Meditation.  Secondly, Radha has come to the world from her original from as Radhika from Golokam and Krishna has taken avatar from his original position as Madhava in Golokam.  The details are dealt with in Radha Kalyanam section.  And Radha has come to the world bnefore Krishna and whe was the maid servant - and the mosgt liked Gopi by Krishna = of Krishna and she was rearing him up.  Thus, this is nothing but a re-union of Radhika with Madhava and we should really name it as Radha Madhava Kalyanam.

The Padhdhathi:

Let me now try to enumerate the procedure followed in these Kalyanotsavams:

It is customary to hold full-fledged Ashtapathi padhdhathi before the Kalyanotsavam.  This will be followed by Dasarvaal Krithis, Poojopacharam, Dhyanam, Deepa Pradakshinam and Dolotsavam.  Normally these will be held a day prior to the Kalyanam day.  Some do conduct divyanaamam after the marriage or prior to the marriage on the same day.  These are variations that have crept in recently.The idea in conducting these padhdhathis prior to Kalyanam is to fully prepare onself mentally for the occasion.  Through these padhdhathis, one gets immersed in para bhakthi and looses one's individuality and is ready with Satwic Vicharams to perform the function.  On the marriage day, usually the function starts with Unchavruththi, followed by 22nd Ashtapathi, which is considered as the Kalyana Ashtapathi.  When Full-fleged Ashtapathi precedes the Kalyanotsavam, it is customary to sing upto 19 ashtapathis, whereas the 20th is sung during Padhdhathi Bhajan at night and the 21st during Dolotsavam.  In that case, on Kalyanam day the 22nd, 23rd and 24th Ashtapathis are sung before entering into Kalyana padhdhathi so as to complete the Ashtapathi Padhdhathi.  If all 24 ashtapathis were taken up during Ashtapathi Bhajan, then only 22nd ashtapathi is to be sung during Kalyanotsava Padhdhathi. This is followed by Kalyana Azhaippu Song, i.e.           

Gowri Kalyaana Vaibhogame,

Radha Kalyaana Vaibhogame,

Seetha Kalyaana Vaibhogame

Though, Kalyaana Padhdhathi usually is preceded with Thodaya Malgalam, Guru Keerthanam, as the function is continuous and as these are already taken up in Unchavruththi, Kalyanam can be started with one invocation song and one guru keethanam and then directly go to Gowri Kalyaanam song. 

Nischithaamboolam:

Except in Radhakalyanam, The Nischithaamboolam (Vangnischayam) function is held.  There is a special song and little Vaideekam method also is added, in which Vigneswara Pooja and Nischithaamboola Sangalpam is performed and the two sides respect each other by exchanging Chandan, Kumkum, Panneer, Flower, Fruits, Palahaarams, Parupputhengai kutty, with some Dakshinai.  There is a special "Chollukkattu" where the details of the two sides and Vadhu Varan are given and a Kalyana Azhaippu is given to Boy's side by Girl's side.just like what is done in our normal marriages.  In Radhakalyanam this need not be done because of its special nature explained in the Radhkalyanam section.  Even if it is done, there is nothing wrong so far as you do  it with Bhakthi Bhaava,/

Maalai Matruthal, Oonjal and Pachchappidi:

In the books no special songs are given.  But I have composed songs for these functions, wherein the idol of Lord is brought from boy's house with Bhajan after performing there Vigneswara Pooja and Mahasankalpam by the Boy's side immediately after the Ashtapathis and Devi idol is brought from the sanctum sanctorium.  Maalai Maatral, Oonjal and Pachchappidi Chuthal are performed.  Usually pachchappidi chuthal is performed by elderly ladies in the customary style.  Then the two idols are brought to the roshtrum and placed together.  This is purely a lowkeeka function performed to enable ladies also to participate.  This need not be performed in Radha Kalyanam for obvious reaswons.

Kotnotsavam (Muthukkuthal and Muthu Samarpanam):

It is believed that as the Kalyanams are composed by Telegu Gurus, they have prescribed the usual method followed in normal Telugu Kalyaanams, where this Muthukkuthal and Muthu samarpanam are performed.  In Telugu sampradaayam, Akshathai is put on Ural and with Ulakkai it is crushed and the nice power sprinkled on the couple and then they were given oil bath.  Then they are bedecked with dresses and ornaments.  Here, as it is the Lord and Goddess, it is presumed that Muthu, Vairam, Vaidooryam etc. are put in ural and crushed with ulakkai and the nice power is sprinkled on the couple.  Then Thalandu Shobhanam (oil bath) given and alankaram.  Akshathai is poured into the Ural by five Kanyakaas upto the age of 10 and Bhagavathaas and then crushed with Ulakkai to the tune of appropriate songs composed by our gurus.  Then the akshathai (supposed to be powdered) is collected from ural into a thaambaalam and covered with another thambaalam and pattu with the manhjal thengai and ulakkai kept inside and taken to roshtrum and poured into another thaambalam there to the tune of speific songs.

There are two opinions about the need for Kotnotsavam.  Some opine that it is done in other kalyanams and not in Radhakalyanam as it is said to be a Gandharva Vivaaham or performed only by Brahma and that too in Brahma muhoortham.  Others say that it is to be performed in all kalyanams as the main part.  Some Bhagavathaas from South do not perform this. It is after all the custom that counts and we cannot lay any hard and fast rule.  Everything depends upon the custom prevailing at a given place.There is nothing wrong in performing Kotnotsavam in all Kalyanams.  According to me, it is required, since I attach philosophical importance to this function, i.e.

Philosophical import in Kotnotsavam: 

To realise God we have to do meditation, in which process the mind has to subside.  For the mind to subside, the Gnanendriyas should stop bringing out stimuli from world outside and the Kalrmendriyas should stop performing worldly activities guided by intellect.  And the intellect should stop analysing things in the materialistic fashion.  Thus, there should be a co-ordination between these organs in us. The Ural is considered to be the Mind; the five kanyakaas are symbolic of the five Gnanendriyaas and the five bhagavathaas are considered to be the Kalmendriyaas, thus involving the Mind, and Dasa Indriyas in the process of meditation.  The akshthai (normally with dusk) is poured into the Ural by the Kanyakaas (Gnanedriyas). This shows that Gnanendriyaas are co-operating by depositing the Jeeva into the Mind.  The Bhagawathaas (Karmendriyaas) are performing Karma by crushing the Jeeva into the mind with the help of Ulakkai (Omkaara Naadam).  Then, the crushed akshthai is sieved to remove the covering (Umi) supposed to be Maya and make the Jeeva pure with white colour (here it is Mangalaakshthai) and pour unto the God's feet.  This is called Samarpanam (I call it Atma Samarpanam).  This Bhava should be maintained while performing Kotnotsavam.  Then we will anot argue that it is required in one Kalyanam and not in another etc.  This is normally done thrice - three Muthukkuthal and 3 Muthu Samarpanam with special songs for it.  (Even if three kuthal and one samarpanam is enough if time does not permit).  Then as it is considered to be Jeeva having surrendered to the Lord and merged with, there is not separate entity and to mark this, a Harathi is taken with "Chithajuni Kannayaku Jaya Mangalam" song.

Musala Narthanam:

Bhakthaas holding the Ulakkai dance to the tune of Ashtapathi being sung.  This is symbolic of the Jeevatma having merged with Paramaatma, there is no separate entity as Jeeva, Brahma, Omkara etc. and all have become one.  Hence, to show that Omkara and Jeeva have become one with the Brahman, Bhagavathaas perform this dance.

Choornikai:

This is a descriptive slokams describing the Kalyana Mandapam, who have all come, what are all there in the sannidhi, how the Vadhu and Varan are dressed, description of the scene etc. etc. This is so in Seetha Kalyanam and Rukmini Kalyanam.  But in Radha Kalyanam, the Choornikai explains the Goloka vruthantham and the scene created by Krishna to invoke Radha to her real Swaroppa and bringing out the scene of Golokam before her and Radha trying to rush and unite with Krishna, when Krishna calls Brahma to perform the reunion as a marriage with all normal Kalyana chadangu.

Pravaram:

Just as we perform in our marriages, there is Pravaram, describing the three-layer lineage of the Varan and Vadhu with Kulam, Gothram, Soothram,Shakha, Pravara bhagam, great-grand father, grand father and father and finally the names of the Vadhu and Varan are spoken three times with the concluding words "Vruneemahe".

Kanyakaa Dhaanam & Paanigrahanam:

This is a most important part of all marriages.  The Vadhu's father hands-over the hand of Vashu to the Varan with specific Manthraas symbolically with a Manjal Thengai, Beter Leaves and Nut and Dakshina kept in the hand of Vadhu which is handed over to Varan (including her hand)  with the girl's mother pouring continuously theertham into the hands and Varan holds her hand and leads her to the roshtrum.  Here, as it is Lords marriage, Girl's side representative holds the manjal thengai with other things on hand and the boy's representative receives them and places them on the roshtrum.  This is also called "Dharavaarthu Kodukkal".  This is the Muhurtha Thengai, which is considered to be auspicious and mangalakaram and taken and kept in pooja room and pooja performed every day.  This does not get rotton as in the usal case.  This is my experience.  I have the Muhurtha thengai given to me in one Kalyaanam 14 years' back which is still decorating my pooja room  without getting rotton.  It still retains the Kudumi and has no cracks.  This is a wonder one should see and experience.  This function is performed with usual Kanyakaa Dhanam and Panigrahana Manthraas as in the normal case.

Mangalaashtakam:

Eight slokaas sung in eight raagaas, invoking the nature to be calm and quite and to give aplenty to the Lord during the marriage, praying to all Mountains, Rivers, Sthavara Jangama Vashthus to help nature perform its duties, praying to Tapaswins, Rivers, Pathivruthaas etc. to offer unto the Lord all their Tapa Bhalaas to make it mangalakaram for Lord, seeking the blessings of Navagrahaas to be placed in exhalted positions and do all good effects to the couple, beholding all Ashtadik Paalakaas and Devathaas to perform their duties for the good of the mankind etc. There are different slokaas composed for different kalyaanams and the sloaakaas may vary from once place to another and from one Bhagavatha to another.  The theme in all is the same that during the marriage of the Lord, let the nature perform well and confer aplenty for the people and let all Tapaswings, and Bhakthaas pray for the world peace. At the end of each of the eight slokaas, the mangalaakshthai is offered into the Therai that is kept in front of the roshtrum by elders with these prayers and collected and distributed after the Kalyaanam to the audience as prasaadam.  This is offered to the public symbolically the aasheervam of Lord and Goddess to the audience for peace and happiness.

Some schools used to take up the Mangalaashtakams before Pravaram or Choornikai.  This is due to the customs and nothing to criticise.  Praying for well-being during marraige of Lord can be done any time. 

Maangalya Dhaaranam:

Here as well as in our Lowkeeka Kalyaanams, this is purely a Lowkeeka function, not in scriptures.  This has come into custom by practice.  This is a licence to the Vadhu, declaring her as married and a sign in her neck so that others seeing it will understand that she is already married.  Pravaram, Kanyaka Dhaanam & Panigrahanam are a must but this is only an additional mark in Kalyanams.  The Varan is tying the Mangala Suthram around the neck of the Vadhu with these words:                 

I am tying my life in the form of this Mangala Suthram tied in a thread around your neck. May you live with it for hundrends of years.

This shows that fall or rise of man is in the hands of his lady.  A Lady can make or mar a life.  Our scriptures declare that the lady is the Shakthi and the Man is Purusha and only when the Pursha and Shakthi are together generations will flourish.  The union of Purusha and Shakthi alone will produce materialistic pleasures.

Aananda Kalippu:

The Bhaktha now rejoices with the union of Purusha and Shakthi or otherwise Jeevaatma with Paramaatma, after which he remains in the One-ness BLISS SUPREME.  This is the culmination of hyuman evolution.  After this it is nothing but Bliss supreme.  Symbolically, the Bhaktha dances in pure Bliss around the roshtrum to the tune of the special song. 

Kalyana Tharangam:

If Poorna Ashtapathi was performed, it is customary to end it with Kalyana Tharangam and as the Poorna Ashtapathi gets concluded only in Kalyanam here as said earlier, the Tharangam is taken up here titled "Aaalokaye Rukmini Kalyana Vaibhogam".  If all 24 Ashtapathis were sung and concluded before Kalyanam, then this song would be sung there itself.

Poojopachaaram:

Some groups perform Poojopachaaram and some others feel it is not required.  Only perform naivedhyam and take Mangala Harathi as a sign of rejoicing.  Either way it is fine.

Nalangu:

In our marriages, we have an item called Nalangu.  This is just to make the Vadhu bedeck her husband with all ornaments, haarams, scents, tilak etc. etc. and enjoy the presence of her beloved and play Poo Pandu, Oonjal, Laali etc.  This is to show the ecstacy of the Vadhu having united with her beloved.  Finally she takes Harathi to her Husband and shows her surrender to him through Namaskaaram.

Paartha Saarathy Geetham:

If Poorna Ashtapathy gets concluded with Kalyanam as said above, then Paartha Saarathy Geetham "Bhajatha Prema Krupaanidhi Maadhavam" is sung.  If all 24 Ashtapathis were concluded prior to Kalyaanam, then this song is taken up then itself.

Bhathopachaaram:

Obviously, it is essential to think and thank the Bhakthaas like Pundaleeka, Thukkaram, Eknath and other Sanths and Saadhus, with whose blessings only we could reach this stage of union with the Almighty.  An abhang or songs in praise of or sung by such Bhakthaas are taken up here as a part of thanks-giving (Kruthaarthatha).

Aanjaneya being parama Bhaktha is now remembered by a song on him.  It is customary to end any Bhajana Utsavam with "Aanjaneya Utsavam", normally done elaborately in the evening of the Kalyanam day.  Here after the usual invocation song, sangraha Thodaya Mangalam, Gurukeerthanam, and Ganesaadhi Dhyaanams, the Slokam "Hey Vaayu Nandana......" is sung followed by five Keerthanaas in five languages and suitable Naamaavalis, where someone plays the part of Aanjaneya.  Due to time constraint in Kalyanam, it is customary to sing atleast one or two songs, if separate Aanjaneya Utsavam is not performed in the night.

Konangi is a parama Bhaktha, who comes for the Darsan of Lord and Devi in Kalyaana Kolam and in ectasy dances with the Vasantha Maadhava Kumbam on head and sprinkles it all over and pulls out the Pandal to mark the end of the Utsavam.  If Vasantha Kelikkai and Pavvalimbu Utsavam is performed in the evening, this is avoided now.  This is the concluding session of the Utsavam.

Vasantha Kelikkai and Pavvalimbu:

Kalyaanam is to be concluded by Vasantha Kelikkai and Pavvalimbu Utsavam in the evening.  Starting with Invocation song, sangraha Thodaya Mangalam, Guru Keerthanam, the Vasantha Kelikkai Songs are taken up, wherein Alamelu Mangaal feels the absence of Venkateswara and sends her maid to fetch him.  She prepares for his welcome by collecting various types of flowers from the garden, keeps scents, chandanam, kumkum etc. ready to receive him.  Maid brings the Lord to her and in ectasy she spinkles the flowers and scents on to him and does upachaaram and joins him.  Then 24 Pavvalimbu Songs are taken up one by one with 24 different Naivedhyams.  Here Alamelu Mangal and Venkateswara enjoy the preasence of each other in various ways and they are taken to Sayana Gruham.  Most of the present day Dolotsava Songs are taken up from here and added in Dolotsavam by Pudukkottai Gopalakrishna Bhagawathar to enjoy the essence of these songs every day in his Dolotsavam.  Finally, a bhaktha called Konagi comes for the darsan of Lord and Devi and Lord gives Darshan to him first while coming out of Sayana Gruham.  Then Konagi dances in joy and pulls out the Pandal and disappears. This marks the conclusion of the entire Utsavam.

Mangalam:

If the function concludes without evening functions as stated above, then only the final mangala song titled "Pavamaana Sudhathu Pattupaadha aravindhamulaku" is sung and with Mangala Slokams "Nithyotsavo Bhavedh Theshaam Nithya Shree Nithya Mangalam" is sung and with Pundareekams the entire Utsavam concludes.

View and Download links of Attavanais for three Kalyanams given below.  You need Acrobat Reader Version 5 or above for reading the Attavanais which are in PDF form (zip).